Let’s start here: I am not an expert in the field of thealogy, theology, religion or any such thing. However, spirit has always been a truth I’ve felt in my bones and I have chosen to embark on graduate studies in the field of counseling and spirituality, with a feminist and gender studies focus. Classes start September 2020 and I know I will have many interesting things to share with you as I progress through my program. For now, to get us started, I’m sharing some of the ideas, thoughts and critiques I explored in the past year through some prerequisite religious studies on the topic of women and religion as well as indigenous spirituality.
We’ll see where belief, mythology and love take us…
I was raised an atheist, my only experiences in Church those of random moments – a rare holiday spent with the aunt and uncle who live far away, a few times with the step-grandparents who were part of my life for only a few years, one strange day when my father took me to a beautiful church in the countryside where we sang, feasted and I could truly feel the love so many call God.
Then when I was a bit older and free to explore spirit on my own, the beautiful Catholic Churches of Central America, standing tall at their honoured place in each town square, always called me in. But I felt out of place. I felt inappropriate, to be honest. I knew almost nothing of this God and feared it was sacrilegious to sit there if I didn’t really believe, or unkind to sit there in bewilderment maybe. I didn’t get it, didn’t know the stories everybody knew. I didn’t know this God or what he stood for.
My experience with spirit didn’t live within walls. I felt connected in the woods, at a little stream near my home. I felt it on the beaches, not far from those Catholic churches, with the steady beat of waves leading my heart. I saw the magic in the sunsets, the grace in the winds, the truth in the body.
I felt spirit inside me. I felt spirit around me.
I felt it.
I knew it.
In my heart. In my gut. In my soul.
So I dabbled…. I sat in those Catholic pews, the sweat of the tropical heat sticking my bare legs to the wood. I took an Eastern Religion course during my undergrad, hoping Buddhism would call to me. I prayed, but only sometimes. I did yoga. I tried to meditate.
And then there’s the time Jesus saved me… I was surfing on a point break in El Salvador, unfamiliar to me, and got caught in a current. I swear I would have drowned there if another surfer hadn’t paddled in, gave me his leash to hold onto and towed me back out to safety. With deep gratitude, I asked him his name. “Jesus,” he said.
Not really what people mean when they say they were saved by Jesus but I’m alive so I’ll take it.
But unless I’m in just such a drowning situation, I don’t believe Jesus is coming to save me, or anyone else for that matter. I believe Jesus was a real man, a prophet. I believe he saw truths the people of his time were unable to see. I believe most of us are still unwilling to see those truths, still unwilling to value the lives of the less fortunate, to extend love to everyone, regardless of race, gender, culture or beliefs. I believe in THAT Jesus, and the woman who walked alongside him, Mary Magdalene. I believe they both found the truth of love in their hearts, that they both knew the answers were only to be found inside of us, not within church walls or bestowed upon us by a higher power.
Be on your guard so that no one deceives you by saying “Look over here!” or “Look over there!” For the child of true Humanity exists within you. Follow it! Those who search for it will find it. – Mary 4 : 3-7
And so whether you are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Pagan, Anishinaabe, Buddhist or anything else, I believe we are all looking for the same thing. We are looking for the humanity that lives within us. May we call it spirit, love, truth, faith, it doesn’t matter. We are all searching for connection. The connection that lives within us all.
I believe in the goddesses, the witches, the Marys. I believe in the divine feminine and the divine masculine. I believe in love and spirit. I believe in the power of faith.
I’m going to use this space to share with you some of the things I learn about women and their experiences with religion. There will be criticism. There will be ideas you’ve never thought before. If you were raised religious, you might not like everything I have to say. That’s ok. We all need to stretch sometimes. I am just learning. I look forward to your comments and additional resources you might have to share. I will trust that we’re in this together, that we are all here for the same reason.
We all want to feel connected to spirit. We all want to have faith.
Next week I’ll be looking at the Eve & Adam story from the Old Testament (isn’t it hard to read it when Eve is written first???). With a critical, feminist perspective I’ll bring this old story into an interesting “new” light and gain a greater understanding of the motivation and impact of this pivotal piece of scripture.